Does anyone have the Disturbed album, Land of Confusion, they can rip/upload/whatnot for me? =| I will love you. iTunes does not offer it >|

NM. I got the album name wrong. Which is why I couldn't find it. HO HO HO.

I would like to take a moment to pimp an RP called Sabra la Tau.

For the record I have no idea what the name actually means.

ANYWAY. Sabra is on Inksome, one of many LJ spin offs. The bonuses of this are... you get up to 150 icons FOR FREE. The non-bonuses are that... the default is blue, and most of the default journal options are pretty ugly. But for basic RPing it more than serves it's purposes and I actually got used to the blue.

Sabra itself... the PREMISE IS your character finds themselves in an underground, cave system/city thing. There is a Large Arena and some abandoned buildings. No food sources other than that which you gather or hunt yourself. Your character finds themselves as one in a group of four. Each unit has a color and name association. Your character has no memories.

Thus they are a Blank. They have a telescope like tube which gives them a brief message from the person they were, and then "I do this willingly". The overall premise is that in order for your character to get their memories back, they will play games hosted by Judges.

The Judges are basically gods, who host games according to their interests and personalities. SO FAR in Sabra we have had to do everything from kill a member of another team, to play Apples to Apples, or make up a story, or navigate a maze. The winning team is given back a memory.

AS YOU COULD GUESS, this makes for pretty interesting gameplay. Not having memories may change your character a lot, or not so much! I play Rin of Blade of the Immortal. I looooooooooooove Rin, but she isn't vastly different from her canon, she's just uh. A little less hard core and a little more girly and wanting to be taken care of )= But then we have a Sephiroth. Who is. You know. Sane. And a decent, if kind of awkward, human being.

Oh and we have Dilandau, who is (SPOILER!) a girl.

FOR THE MOST PART, the Blanks all get along. They choose names for themselves (or have them choosen), and form relationships they might not form if they had their memories.

It's a very SLOW PACED GAME. I am talking about it here because I WANT YOU TO COME PLAY. But the slow paced-ness is important to note. If you RP elsewhere, Sabra is unlikely to be a primary for you. But it is a very fun, easy going secondary. Games are roughly once a week, and between those you're welcome to do whatever you want. Time flows according to our will. Which is to say, if someone makes a post on monday and says it is morning in game. Someone else can make a post on Thursday and say it's only the afternoon of the same day. Or it can be the next day entirely. UP TO YOU. It leads to more realistic relationship building that happens at our own pace. Where characters can talk several times a day, instead of just once or twice a week at best, and then you assume they are just... keeping up with it when you can't really play them off screen all the time.

SO WHY SHOULD YOU JOIN THIS GAME.

Well. If you like the idea of playing a favorite character of yours with no memories! There is a TWO CHARACTER PER PLAYER LIMIT, so that things don't get heavily bogged down, and so people do play their characters if they are in the game. The emphasis is on relationship and personality building, but since most of the characters have no memories and time moves slowly, the direction is... focused inward? These relationships are the ONLY ONES THESE PEOPLE HAVE right now, so they are all important, but that doesn't mean they are all serious.

YOU SHOULD ALSO JOIN THIS GAME CUZ YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME

But yeah no it's mostly a non-plot, character driven. Thing. interaction and exploration. There are not funny effects, or much meta. It's just play. So if you like threads that are just based around interaction, and learning more about your characters and watching them grown and all THAT STUFF. And if you are okay with/prefer a slow pace. It's probably a good RP for you.

BUT AVIY. you say. BUT AVIY I HATE APPING.

No problem! The apps are very laid back. There is no vote. The mods just read it and say yes or no. You don't have to write a huge app. Infact, the back story can't really be more than 300 words and the personality sections only need be a paragraph or too. It's pretty zen and laid back, and you can app/reapp as fast and as soon as you want. It's a little slow to get in, because people only get in A) as a unit (so there needs to be four new people) or B) when someone drops and your character fills their space. But RUSHING IS NOT A PART OF SABRA. So.

Let's see, the other thing is that most of the game stuff is pretty player run. Which is to say, you are welcome to create your OWN Judge and run games, if you want to get things moving a bit. Not recommended to do immediately, of course. But once you're settled you can pitch an idea at the mods and then you are set to run games o/ And there aren't reaaaally any rules, other than that which upholds the spirit of the game. So obviously you can't give away memories willy-nilly. But games can be childish and simple, or complicated, or violent or dramatic or......whatever you want, really.

Uuuuuuuuh what else idk ask me questions OR JUST GO JOIN also the apping isn't especially anonymous as far as I know so talk to me about who you want to play so I can top you into joining o/

I did say I would try to update this more now. And it just so happens I need to vent a bit if I'm going to manage to stop stewing so I can get a few hours of sleep before work.

In my last post, I mentioned that I love my job. I think I need to point out that even as I typed that then, I thought, "I should not type this or something will happen". Listen to that inner voice, guys.

You see, this job has had a lot of severe ups and downs for me. When it going well, it is great. When it isn't, I freak out and stress out and want to quit and run away. I hit that low point roughly every two weeks when, like clock work, someone complains about me.

Now you see. I am generally good at most things I do. Not to be an arrogant bitch or anything, but I believe the key to most things is to apply yourself. However, I am simply not a good security guard.

Funny, isn't it? It's a job where you do nothing. But the key points of being a security guard are primarily things I lack. A) I am not observant. B) I am not confident, stoic, or a stonewall. C) I am not intimidating nor do I look like someone you should feel safe around. D) I am physically incapable of doing nothing for a long period of time.

Feature A I could work on. Being alert is something you can learn. Feature C is a good deal harder. I have come partway on that, but I am still a fat white girl who tends to look on the frumpy side no matter what, and nothing is really going to change that. Well, you know, sort of losing weight and getting physically fit but uh. It's a nine dollar an hour job, guys. N. Feature B is referring to the fact that when you are a security guard in a place where people don't want to follow the rules, there will frequently be people that want to challenge you or get mad at you, and you have to let it roll off of you. I am not good at this. D is just me, and not particularly a part of me I want to change, though I suppose I could. I am HAPPY to have ten hours where I need to make sure people stay off their cell phones, keep an eye on the doors, and otherwise read a book or write. But to actually sit one place for ten hours and do nothing but watch a door and the twenty or so people in the nearby rooms? Uuuhn. It may be a ridiculous thing to complain about (it's so easy! it's practically free money!). But it's not. It's money for misery. I would rather be a cashier pretty much anywhere. I would rather do mindless data entry. I would rather file, shelve books, or do just about anything than nothing.

That said. We're allowed to read books. OUR CLIENT HAS SAID SO. So I read books. There were issues over cell phones previously? So after some pissing and grouching I pretty much stopped using my cell phone. Tuesday I sent like three text messages to a friend ten minutes before the building closed, when there was no one in the building. That's it.

Yet apparently today someone called to complain about how I'm not doing my job because I spend ALL DAY just TEXTING ON MY PHONE.

???

So now work sucks again and I'm stressing.

I don't know how to... I don't know why exactly. I think it upsets me because I know I'm not a good security guard, but goddamn it I am at least following the rules. Much better than plenty of other security guards, mind you. And let me point out that the rules for the building are aggravating and horrible. I'm supposed to keep clients off the cell phones when the staff are allowed to use theirs? Why? They won't tell me, I can't tell anyone else. It doesn't matter if I and everyone in the building things the rule is absurd, I have to uphold it in the face of angry black mothers. Who then call my boss and complain that I am racist for telling them to get off their phone.

Also... I don't know.

I get along better with men IRL, it seems. Like, as a comprehensive gender? I have never worked in a predominantly female place. But this building only has one regular male worker. Everyone else is female. Most of the clients that come are female as well. But while the women who work there always seem friendly, they are apparently not so much. I've become aware of gossip lately.

I.... I have never partaken in gossip much. While I will share my opinion if discussing a situation with a friend, these are generally opinions I would share just as willingly/not deny to the person talked about. I do not, however, go up to someone who I am only acquainted with and talk about someone else I am only acquainted with and speculate in a negative fashion... and then go do it again with more people. I definitely do not call up people at odd hours of the nights specifically to have these conversations.

I have never really partaken in gossip, and so never really been aware of it. I was aware of it in a fictional manner, where I have heard how it can be. But this is the first time I've truly seen it in action. You can not DO anything in this building, you can not SAY anything, without it coming back to you in some weird, around and around the grapevine fashion. If I mention a former worker's name at 8 AM, by noon apparently people think she's going to be working here again.

There was an incident where my site captain lying/joking told me he was getting one site that was waaaaaaay out of his league. I mentioned this lie/joke to my boss in the vicinity of a woman. My boss and I laughed at this lie/joke and forgot about it. That night, while on her shift, said woman got on her cell phone and called my site captain to tell him how I had told our boss that he wasn't doing well (or something???) and the next day my site captain talked to me, rather concerned and upset, that I had gone to complain about him to our boss without talking to him first.

Situations similar to this happen frequently. In this case the woman in question actually works with the security guard company, and is apparently a two faced whore he acts completely nice and wonderful and oh so Christian when you're looking at her, and then spends her night shifts spreading rumors and making up gossip for unknown reasons.

However, that's just how I'm learning how this shit works. Because I see it happen around the work place too. She said this, she said, I heard, etc. And for some reason people pass by my desk and tell ME and god damn I just wish they didn't even know I was there. I don't give a shit.

But I feel a little like it's destroying my soul.

And that tangented a lot and I'm sure it seems like it doesn't make any sense. As far as I know the complaint is just one specific woman (who has complained numerous of times over things which didn't actually happen). But I feel like the gossipy bitch air of the place is fostering this view where it is acceptable to be pleasant to someone's face (NO ONE there is rude to me to my face) and then try to get them fired behind their back.

And I want to let it just roll off of me. But I can't. Because it's always my fault even if I haven't done anything wrong. If someone complains, something has to be changed. We must please EVERYONE, even the condescending, lying bitch who is making things up because she felt a spot of irritation and wanted to take it out on someone. Tomorrow I'm being written up for being on my cellphone during shift when I wasn't. I'm going to refuse to sign it, but the fact that it's happening is very... insulting. I'm used to working in places where your bosses stand beside you. Now, even though I know that my bosses like me and are good people, I'm still being regulated to this ridiculous process where we must be people pleasers.

And it's upsetting and it makes me sad and I can't just make it roll off of me because, by actions, according to everyone it is my fault. And even when it is admitted that it isn't my fault, I must still shoulder the blame. It's never acceptable to just say "M'am I've spoken to the guard and she assures me she did not do that and I trust her".

In most customer service jobs, 'customers are stupid' is just a given. You'll always get a bitch at the register who you have to smile at and deal with. But as soon as they leave your coworkers are like "Jeez, what the hell crawled up her ass"? And even if the lady made you miserable you feel vindicated that others agree it wasn't you, it's them.

In this case, it's apparently me.

Even if it's not really.

And I'm just tired, because this literally happens every two weeks. And I deal with a little better every time. But it still pretty much ruins my day.

Today, idly enough, I considered dropping out of CFUD completely.

And in doing so, realized that I could do it.

( Read more... )

Arghhhh the stupid it burns.

Okay so every time I'm at work I have to watch HLN news cuz idk. But at 11 is the PROVOCATIVE SHOWBIZ show. Which is frequently hypocritical and dumb. Latest debate? Brace yourself!

Has Michelle Obama replaced Oprah?

Jgffhjifffhj

I'm sorry have we not yet grown as a culture to where it is okay to have two awesome black women prominant in our society? They actually quoted that the reason people like the women is because Oprah is REAL and Michelle has that Oprah REALNESS. Because Oprah has the market on black women getting to appear like human brings or something. Idk.

Also I never want to hear Octoanything ever again arghhh

I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE STUFF

THINGS CAUSING ME JOY: NEW FMA ANIME. RECENT FMA CHAPTERS. FAIRY TAIL. TALES OF SOMETHING PORTING OVER. GETTING A HANDLE ON MY JOB??? SO MANY PET PROJECTS. FFXII IS ADORABLE. REPLAYING DDS *AGAIN*

THINGS NOT CAUSING ME JOY: AGH I'M FAT. AGH I SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY EATING OUT. AGH WHY DOES MY CAT PEE ON EVERYTHING.

GUYZ, pimp me things!

SPECIFICALLY I am actually looking for a character for roleplaying in an UNDISCLOSED PLACE. I really want to play from a canon I haven't read yet and have never played in. I am not INTO ANYTHING NEW nor have I been since uh... I think the last new thing I got into was Fairy Tail like, last July. So yeah. I MISS NEW STUFF. I have READ stuff! Just not really got into.

ASSEMBLING A LIST OF WHAT I HAVE READ WOULD BE HARD. But CHANCE ARE if it has a LARGE FANBASE I have looked at it, and am either into it or not interested for reasons I can tell you of if you like.

The TYPE of character I am looking for is something that is Not Really A Hero, possibly manipulative, and definitely with some character depth that would be fun to explore in a high stress situation. Characters I've played before that are LIKE THIS are uh, Kira Sakuya, Riku, Ticky, etc. Which is to say, people that aren't generally clearly bad or good. THAT SAID you don't need to have any of these in mind to rec something to me! I WILL CHECK STUFF OUT RIGHT NOW just note that I'm looking for things with good character narrative. Also, I'll be making icons so pretty gets you a lot of points.

Manga and anime are both find. TV show is fine if I can FIND IT ONLINE. I am a big fan of hulu guyz. Games are uh. Well. RECCING GAMES IS GOOD but I won't have time to play anything for a while, nor money to buy them. But you're more than welcome to sell me on what I should spend money on next. I have a PS3, a PSP, a DS and a Wii to make use of.

BASICALLY I'm tired of having no new interests get me into something )=

Give me a character I RP (CFUD/Damned/Crucible/Sabra), and I'll tell you:

01. Full name:
02. Best friend:
03. Sexuality:
04. Favorite color:
05. Relationship status:
06. Ideal mate:
07. Turn-ons:
08. Last sexual experience:
09. Favorite food:
10. Crushes:
11. Favorite music:
12. Biggest fear:
13. Biggest fantasy:
14. Quirks in bed:
15. Bad habits:
16. Biggest regret:
17. Best kept secrets:
18. Last thought:
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience:
20. Biggest insecurity:

SINCE YOU MAY NOT KNOW MY LIST:
CFUD: Natsu, Luke, Kira, Ticky, Ed
Crucible: AU!Ticky, Guy, TYL!Hibari
Damned: Luke
Sabra: Rin

oh god. I only have four characters now.

I haven't had that many characters since. ......2005. I think.

that. thing.

January- So as I woke up at the ungodly hours of MORNING to get ready to go to work and made my lunch and breakfast, it occurred to me that, as an arizonan I depend on having salsa in my fridge more than anything else.
February- I have no will power against these things )= Will not use ANY characters I rp so maybe something new will come out \o/
March- I keep forgetting to mention it here (i think?) but I no longer use AIM.
April- Stolen from actualize
May- y not
June- UPDATES. A:
July- So I've lived in Georgia for a month, thus far my biggest complaint is that the grocery stores don't sell hard liquor, and I haven't seen any liquor stores.
August- So, I was thinking of doing one of those posts where you say things to people on your friendslist you generally wouldn't say to their face, without saying who it is to, and I realized two things.
September- IN PRE-NEWS. someone kick me to go finish my honesty meme sometime after I have slept.
October- For once, I hope to see this all over my F-List.
November- HI I HAVE A TWILIGHT RANT
December- LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS RECAP

...yah. not much interesting there.

ALSO JUST SUDDENLY HAD THE WORST NEW YEARS EVE EVER??? Am trying to recover my zen. my feet are cold and my food supplies are low.

my alcohol supplies, however, are not, and this MAY COME INTO PLAY LATER